Smart dating means respecting own values

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I stop settling for emotionally unavailable people just because I’m afraid of being alone? I’ve noticed a pattern in my dating life. All the men I go out with seem to have a few things in common: They refuse to commit, they’re always “too busy” and they rarely put in the effort to truly get to know me or make me feel valued. At first, they show just enough interest to keep me hooked, but eventually I end up feeling like I’m the one doing all the emotional labor. It’s exhausting, and honestly, it hurts. The worst part is, I see the red flags early on, but I stay anyway because a part of me fears that if I let go, there won’t be anyone else. I don’t want to keep choosing people who treat me like an afterthought, but I don’t know how to break out of this cycle. How can I stop mistaking breadcrumbs for love and start believing I deserve more? – Seeking True Love DEAR SEEKING TRUE LOVE: Make a list of the traits you value in a relationship. What do you want from a partner? Be specific about the qualities that make you happy and what you do not like. Based upon past experience, recall situations that bothered you. What were the warning signs that something wasn’t right? As you meet other men, observe their behaviors. Notice what you like and what you don’t. Take your time getting to know someone. Be honest about what you want in a relationship, and ask what he wants as well. Then watch to see how the person behaves. Take your time.

‘How is it that people are being killed simply for being Jewish?’

The quote “Jewish students were excluded from portions of the UCLA campus because they refused to denounce their faith,” is from a judge’s order, but that’s not my interpretation. “This fact is so unimaginable and so abhorrent to our constitutional guarantee of religious freedom,” Judge Mark C. Scarsi wrote.

Who was ‘shocked’ by Biden’s infirmity?

Here is a basic question about “Original Sin,” the new book detailing the White House’s attempt to hide former President Joe Biden’s in-plain-sight mental and physical decline: Why is it having such an impact? Sure, the subject – an intermittently disabled president – is hugely important. But on the other hand, everybody knew, or should have known, that Biden was an intermittently disabled president.

DO JUST ONE THING

• Do you know what the No. 1 most recycled product is? It’s not what you might think: It’s car batteries. Almost all of the car battery is recyclable. Sixty percent of it is lead, which can be recycled and used for other metal products. The three pounds of plastic is also reclaimed and used in the manufacturing of new batteries. And the sulfuric acid inside is safely captured and recycled in new batteries. If you replace your battery at a dealer or auto shop, your battery is recycled. If you have old car batteries at home, take them to any auto shop, and it’ll recycle them free of charge for you.

Father looking for love for his son

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom’s friend is on the hunt for a nice wife for his son and thinks I’d be a great fit. This matchmaker is an older man I know from church, but I’ve never met his son before. My mom asked if I’d be open to hanging out with him and his family just to meet the son and see how I feel. I thought it would be awkward to say no and see the dad at church every week, so I agreed.

Elizabeth Ko, M.D.

Dear Doctors: A vendor at our weekend farmers market was telling his customers about something called the “Dirty Dozen” list. Apparently it has to do with pesticides and shopping for produce?

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