DEAR HARRIETTE: After passing the job final interview at one of the biggest companies in the United States, I’ve been struggling with imposter syndrome. Although I was chosen for this role because of my experience and skills, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not good enough. I worry about making mistakes or being “found out.” To address this, I’m trying to focus on small wins – like completing tasks ahead of schedule or receiving positive feedback from my team. I’m also reminding myself that no one is perfect and everyone has a learning curve. That said, I’ve noticed that my boss occasionally gets irritated when certain aspects of my work fall short, especially as he’s relying on me to carry forward an important project. This has added to my self-doubt, but I’m determined to improve. Any advice would be a great help. – Imposter Syndrome DEAR IMPOSTER SYNDROME: Give yourself a timeline to learn new tasks and build a rapport with your boss. When things don’t go right, be the first to admit it, and ask for guidance to help you understand your mistakes. Everyone messes up on occasion. A sign that you are capable and learning is that you pay close attention and figure out how not to make the same mistake twice.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My younger sister is getting married to a man with a significant number of financial issues, and I’m really worried about her future. He has $300,000 in combined credit card debt and student loans, and to make matters worse, he’s earning only $40,000 a year. Meanwhile, my sister is much more successful; she has no debt and a stable career and earns a sixfigure salary. She’s worked hard to get where she is, and I’m proud of her, but I can’t help feeling like she’s stepping into a financial disaster by marrying this man. I fear that once they’re married, he’s going to rely on her not only to cover their bills, but also to pay off his debt. I know marriage is about partnership, and everyone comes with their own baggage, but this feels different. It seems like he’s bringing an overwhelming financial burden to the relationship, and I don’t think my sister fully understands the long-term implications of this. I’ve tried hinting at my concerns, but she brushes me off and says she loves him and they’ll figure it out. I don’t want to overstep or come across as judgmental, but I’m genuinely scared for her financial stability and independence. Should I say something more directly, or is it better to let her learn the hard way? – On the Plank
On Monday morning, the White House announced that President Joe Biden commuted the sentences of 37 of the 40 prisoners, all murderers and some multiple murderers, on federal death row. (Yes, while most death penalty cases are handled by the states, the federal government has a death row for violators of federal crimes.) Biden commuted the federal prisoners’ sentences from death to life in prison without the possibility of parole.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently developed a love for having plants around my home because they add such a refreshing vibe, but I struggle to keep them alive. People remark that I don’t have a green thumb and that I should give up on this hobby, but I’m determined to prove them wrong. I’ve done a lot of research on how to care for plants, yet they always seem to wilt or lose their leaves. I’ve tried adjusting the watering schedule and moving them around, but nothing seems to work.
I’ve had the mantra “It’s not what you eat between Christmas and New Year’s that counts, it’s what you eat between New Year’s and Christmas,” in my head because my husband, Peter, and I have been trying to keep our weight in check. Peter is doing it for sensible reasons. His cholesterol and blood pressure have been high. He worries he might be at risk for a stroke.
Editor’s Note: This is Lucy Moreno’s thoughts about the recent Celebration of Our Lady of Guadalupe.