Hello, dear readers! Welcome to a bonus letters column. We have several interesting questions to address, so we’ll get right to them.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is incredibly generous when it comes to friends, family and even strangers, but when it comes to me, he’s surprisingly stingy, whether it’s time, attention or small gestures of affection. I feel unappreciated, hurt and confused because I don’t understand why I’m being treated differently, especially since I try to support and give to him in every way I can. I’ve thought about bringing it up, but I’m worried that if I do, it might come across as nagging or start an argument. At the same time, I don’t want to continue feeling undervalued in my own relationship. How can I talk to him honestly about how his behavior affects me without creating tension or making him feel attacked? I just want to feel seen and appreciated for once.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been struggling with what feels like depression.
Dear Doctors: Is there any connection with dementia patients and television?
DEAR HARRIETTE: My cousin decided to plan a family reunion this year. We have a large family spread throughout a few states and a few countries. My cousin refused to allow anyone else in the family to help her plan this grandiose reunion, despite several people asking. It was a huge undertaking, and in the end, there were a lot of missteps. Many people were offended because they didn’t even know it was happening, and the actual event was all over the place. I tried debriefing with her a few days later about what I thought could help the next time around, and she snapped on me. I explained that I, as well as others, would love to be a part of the planning so that she doesn’t have to be responsible for so many moving parts, and she accused me of being negative and judgmental. How can you reason with someone who is determined to be a solo act and is averse to criticism? – Family Reunion
• Whether you’re frying an egg or sauteing vegetables, it matters what size pan you use on your cooktop. If you’re using a small pan on a large burner, you’re wasting heat and throwing money away. Here’s an example: Cooking with a small pan on a large electric burner cooktop can cause up to a 40% decrease in energy efficiency. By choosing the right-size burner for the pan, you can save around $36 a year. And don’t forget: Putting a lid on your pan can help speed up your cooking, too.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been working in tech for the past five years, and I’ve saved up a decent amount of money with the intention of taking a year off to travel. It’s something I’ve dreamed about for a long time. I want to see the world, experience different cultures and give myself space to reflect on what I really want in life. Lately, though, whenever I bring up this idea to friends or family, they tell me it’s irresponsible. They worry I’ll fall behind in my career or lose my momentum in such a competitive industry. Some even say I’m being selfish for stepping away from a stable job when others are struggling to find one. I understand their concerns, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m letting fear – or other people’s opinions – deter me from something that could be life-changing. I’m not planning to blow through all of my savings or be reckless. I’ve done the math, made a rough itinerary and even looked into ways I could freelance or volunteer during my travels. Still, the doubt is starting to creep in. What if I come back and can’t find another job? What if I regret stepping off the “traditional” path? Is it really so wrong to pause my career to explore the world, even if it’s unconventional? – The Road Less Traveled DEAR THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED: Listen to your own voice. You have planned well, saved and plotted your course. There are risks with every decision, but it sounds like you have done your best to consider the risks and weigh the odds. Be bold and take your trip. Enjoy your adventure. Journal about what you see and experience. Consider creating a blog where you talk about what you are seeing and learning. Keep your eyes open for opportunities for the future as you set out on your journey. Have faith that you will be able to take care of yourself each step of the way.
Dear Doctors: The more I read about microplastics, the more I want to do something to lower my family’s exposure to them. Any thoughts? Also, what is so much worse about microplastics than dust or pollen?
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 13-year-old daughter has recently started refusing to attend family gatherings like birthday parties or Sunday dinners at my parents’ house. She says they’re “boring, fake and a waste of time.” I understand that she’s a teenager and trying to find her own identity, but it’s really starting to hurt my parents’ feelings. They miss her and have mentioned that they feel like she doesn’t care about spending time with them anymore.
• The paperboard boxes that grocery items like cereal and frozen food often come packaged in are recyclable materials. If the boxes are greasy, soaked or dirty, they should never be put in your recycling, since they are a contaminant.