DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m really struggling with a situation involving my toddler. She’s normally sweet and affectionate at home, but lately, her day care provider has told me she’s been trying to hit other children during playtime. This behavior has become more frequent, and I’m starting to get concerned – not just about the other kids, but about what this says about her development and emotional regulation. We’ve tried talking to her about how hitting hurts others and isn’t acceptable, and we’ve used timeouts and redirection techniques, but nothing seems to be sticking. I feel embarrassed when I pick her up and hear about another incident, and I worry that the day care staff and the other parents are judging her or think I’m not doing enough. I know toddlers are still learning how to manage their emotions and communicate their needs, but I’m not sure what else I should be doing. I want to raise a kind and respectful child, and this aggressive behavior is making me feel like I’m failing somehow. How do I guide her through this phase in a way that’s effective and loving? – Out-of-Control Toddler DEAR OUT-OF-CONTROL TODDLER: First, talk to the leadership of the day care and whoever works directly with your child. Ask about any incidents that may have sparked her behavior. Ask them to partner with you to observe what may be triggering her.